Going Forward by K.M. Galvin</ strong> Publication Date: September 8, 2014 Genres: Contemporary, New Adult, Romance
SynopsisYou may think you know me. The truth is I wasn’t always a good person. Truth is I played in the dark. I did a lot of things I’m not proud of. Did a lot of things that many people should hate me for, things that you may hate me for. But one thing I know for sure is that sometimes in order to go forward, we have to go back. And so...this is my story. When Emily’s parents died in a car crash the night of her birthday she thought nothing could hurt worse. She was wrong. Choice. That’s the difference. They didn’t choose to abandon her, but her friends, brother, and the one person she loved more than life all chose to turn their backs. So Emily made the decision to shut off from life. She chose to find comfort in anyone who’d have her, anything she could drink, any drug that would give her just a moment of oblivion. But all that changes with two pink lines. Seventeen and pregnant? Not how she planned on finishing out her senior year. Jason and Declan both coming home? Not the reunion she was prepared for. But life doesn’t wait for you, and so you’re only option is to go forward.
Slapping a hand over my mouth, I try to hold in everything that I have kept tightly
locked away for months. I start running, my breath screaming out of my lungs,
tears running unchecked down my cheeks. My phone rings continuously, but I
don’t bother answering it. I need to get home. I have to go home. I need my bed.
I need my room. I want my blanket. I want the picture of them making funny faces
at Jason’s high school graduation while Jason and I rolled our eyes. I want our
kitchen table with the one leg that’s shorter than all the others. I want the third
stair that always squeaked so that no matter how hard we tried we could never
sneak out successfully.
I need them. They shouldn’t have left me. If they hadn’t left I wouldn’t be in this
mess. I wouldn’t be fucking my way through my senior year. I wouldn’t be finding
whatever I could to numb the pain. There would be no pain.
There would be no more pain.
People are so fucking stupid. They think numbness is better than pain. So stupid.
Numbness is pain. It’s waking death. It’s gray decay. It’s fucking driving home
from your birthday dinner, singing some stupid song with the two people who are
always supposed to be there because that’s the fucking rules. It’s a stupid inch
of rain sitting on the road. It’s bald tires that were going to get changed, but life
got in the way. Life is constantly getting in the way until it hydroplanes right out of
Life is losing everything in an instant.
And getting it all back with two pink lines.
The front door slams shut with the force of a bullet and I stare at him. My
stomach, lil pink lines nugget alien baby included, fell right through my car and to
the pavement. Have you ever gotten white hot and blazing cold within the span
of a second? Dots dance in front of my eyes and the world tips sideways as he
makes his way around to my side of the car. I track his progress, dread festering
inside me... or is that gas? What is he going to do? I did the only thing I could
think to do.
I lock the doors. He pulls on the handle, brows lowering when he realizes it’s
locked. “Emily,” he warns. Yeah, so not happening. He pulls harder on the
then knocks on the window. I feel a gurgle in my throat; it bubbles from the
bottom of my throat and then rips out of my throat. I am laughing. The sound
bounces around my piece of shit car, loud against the quiet.
He actually knocked on the window.
This sends me off into gales of laughter. I laugh and laugh and laugh. I laugh so
hard my stomach hurts and I have to squeeze my thighs together to hold in the
pee that is threatening to ruin my brand new jeans. It’s the first time I’ve seen or
heard from him in almost a year and this is how we reunite. I unlock the doors
and undo my seatbelt. Flinging the door open, I climb out of the car and stand
in front of him. He’s got an amused look in his eye and that same sly grin on his
face. I’ve missed his face. God, I’ve missed his face.
He stands so rigidly. I can see his muscles are locked, but I don’t know what to
do. I’m out of the car, but it’s like that door is still locked. Then he closes his eyes
and takes a deep breath. His arms fall to his sides and the tension leaks from
him. His eyes open and they are blazing at me with so much emotion my throat
locks up and my eyes respond by filling with tears.
“Come here, preggers,” he whispers, and that’s all I need to hear before I vault
into his arms. His arms band around me as he crushes me to him. For the
second time in almost a year, I’m crying. I’m crying because the person I’ve
needed most in the world is finally, finally here when I need him most, and I begin
to think it might be ok.
“Hey, Jase,” I whisper back. He sobs out a breath and I lean back. “Where
ya been?” I say lightly, but it’s the one question that means more to me than
“Everywhere and nowhere I should’ve been.” He sighs and pulls back. “Come on,
let’s go inside.”